View all Celebrities Sites. More Fantasy News ». More Gaming News ». More ESports News ». More Food News ». More Dog News ». View all Lifestyle Sites. More Music News ». More FS Music News ». View all Music Sites. More FanSided News ». Which is to say, it is far worse than the first movie —which, though awful, in hindsight looks like Citizen Kane , only with more discussion of dildos. The bad news is that it is even more idiotic, which is in its way a remarkable achievement. In any case, like its predecessor , it is eminently deserving of one in my occasional series of spoilereviews: a linear enunciation of all the stupid elements of the film that I managed to scribble into my notebook during the screening.
To be clear: What follows will give away as many plot developments as possible, as it is intended to serve as an alternative to actually seeing the movie. But I feel confident that the universe of people who would like to laugh at this film is considerably larger than the universe of those who are actually willing to sit through it.
So here goes. So Fifty Shades Freed opens with a wedding. Where are the references to domination and submission, to flogging and spanking, to the Red Room? What movie is this? It sounds a tad, let us say, Steve Mnuchin-y.
Christian whisks Ana to the airport, where a private jet is waiting. Ana actually seems to remember what happened in those films even less than I do. They go to the opera. They hold hands. They have tasteful, from-a-distance, no-nudity sex. This may be the worst advertisement for marriage of all time. Your most conservative grandparent is probably getting bored about now.
At a topless beach, Ana wants to take off her bikini top, but lifelong-pervert-turned-sudden-prude Christian forbids it. Progress, I guess. Christian, still peeved that Ana disobeyed him re: toplessness, pulls out handcuffs.
She seems aghast. Once again, it appears that she has no recollection of the previous two movies. Is there a roofie subtext to the whole trilogy that is never made explicit? Alas, the honeymoon is cut short. Crazy or not, his motive seems pretty self-evident.
Or is it? As I noted in the spoilereview for the previous movie, with the exception of security guards, virtually all subordinates in the Fifty Shades universe are female. I may be missing some small exception somewhere, but perhaps the most consistently clear message of the whole series is that women always work for men and not the reverse.
How I envy her. Ana dismisses the cook for the night because she wants to make dinner. This is what in introductory screenwriting classes is called foreshadowing. Maybe she was only acting fiction editor? More like this. Watch options. Storyline Edit. Believing they have left behind shadowy figures from their past, newlyweds Christian and Ana fully embrace an inextricable connection and shared life of luxury.
But just as she steps into her role as Mrs. Grey and he relaxes into an unfamiliar stability, new threats could jeopardize their happy ending before it even begins. Grey will see you now. Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, and language. Did you know Edit. For the first movie cover Anastasia is the one with her arms up while Christian is the one about to kiss her, for this movie cover Christian is the one with his arms up while Anastasia is about to kiss him.
Quotes Christian Grey : Good morning, wife. Crazy credits There's a mid-credits scene: A couple of years later, Anastasia and Christian are playing with their son. She's pregnant again. Connections Edited into Funny or Die Presents User reviews Review.
Top review. One of the worst films ever made on the face of the earth. A movie that nothing happens, everything is fake and meaningless, has no story, no plot, the sex scenes are bland and has the worst car chase of all time. Details Edit. Release date February 9, United States. United States.
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